Hallmark Christmas movies are picture perfect, but may lead to unrealistic expectations. Life is more complicated than a Hallmark Christmas movie, although it’s a great self-care escape. Planning ahead may lead to less stress during the holidays. Below are my simple tips and techniques to minimize stress during the holidays.
Think Ahead
What tends to overwhelm you about the holidays? What do you enjoy most about them?
What stresses your family and friends during the holidays? What do your family and friends enjoy about the holidays?
Be Intentional
Continuing family traditions goes a long way in creating lasting memories. Maybe this is the year to begin a few new ones, too.
Think of a word or phrase that encompasses what you are trying to accomplish this holiday season (for example: family togetherness, holiday simple, or peace). Let this mantra be your focus during the holidays.
Set Expectations
Accept who you and your family are and expect this not to change during the holidays. Having realistic expectations minimizes the surprise of repetitive behaviors.
Remember there is no such thing as a perfect holiday. Perfectionism leads to people pleasing which leads to burn out.
Have Boundaries
The holidays are such a busy time with so much to do. It is impossible to do everything. Choose to do the things you and your family enjoy the most.
Set boundaries around communicating what you say, how you should say it, and choose appropriate holiday conversation topics. If a conversation gets too heavy or uncomfortable, it is ok to change the subject or even to excuse yourself from the conversation.
Emphasize Connection
Spend time really connecting with your family and friends this holiday season. Slow down and allow yourself to be present in the moment.
Prioritize connection over things when it comes to gift-giving. Sometimes the best gifts are an experience together (for example: trip, concert, sports event, or a staycation).
Pace Yourself
Make time for self-care through rest, good food choices, going on walks, taking a bath, and anything else that helps you feel more relaxed.
Have a plan to release your holiday stress (for example: talking to someone, journaling, or exercising).
Grief Thoughts
Be aware of your triggers. Take action to relieve yourself of the effects of the triggers by talking with someone about it and taking time to relax.
Allow yourself to be open with family and friends about how you are feeling. When you are vulnerable with others, it helps you feel more connected and less alone. Also, seeing a counselor during the holidays can help process grief you are feeling.
Erin Young, LCSW
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